My very first marriage proposal from the UK

For those of you who are wondering…no, this isn’t Matrimonial mish-mashes Part II ! That’s coming up later. This is just an individual episode in itself.



My very first marriage proposal… on bent knees! Really! *Sniff sniff* I should be touched. But well…was I?

It happened in late 2007 when I was in London for higher studies. My friends and I went out for dinner at a restaurant. The weather was lovely, the mood was merry and we were looking forward to a fun night out. I had recently purchased a beautiful white sweater and worn it that night (winter was just starting to rear its head).

Sitting at a restaurant close to our campus, we were a group of 4. A couple of our friends were supposed to join us later during the night.

We ordered drinks and an initial round of starters. The night had begun. Somewhere during the course of the night in between talking and laughing, I paused, sensing someone standing near me. I turned to see a rather distinguished looking old man of no less than 60-65 years standing diagonal to my side, slightly bending down as if to talk to me. I realised he was telling me something and I hadn’t heard.
“Sorry?” I said with a pleasant smile.
“What is your name?” he asked
I paused, confused. “What is this regarding?”
Another pause.

Then the answer. Straight out. No bars hold.
In a completely matter-of-fact, earnest voice:
“I want to marry you.”

Holy mother of God! WHAT???? My jaw dropped about ten notches and I stared at him in horror.
[At that time Aashiq’s incident hadn’t happened yet. Otherwise I would have wondered what it is with me and the ability to attract guys from every generation except my own! Sheesh!!]

There was a stunned silence at the table for 2 seconds. “I…er…um…” I stuttered struggling to find the right words and looked at my friends desperately for help. That was when I saw my friends had collapsed over each other and fallen over the table howling with laughter. I turned a deep shade of beetroot red and kept opening and shutting my mouth like a goldfish for another 2 minutes, not knowing what else to do.

I nudged and poked my friend PK sitting next to me, as hard as I could. She was nearly choking on laughter by then. Then PK pulled herself together. “OK is this a prank?” she asked with a gleeful grin on her face. The little twerp was enjoying it!
He stared back at her incredulously, “Of course not! I’m serious!”
I swear my heart stopped beating. I had begun to get a vivid vision of old white men arriving on galloping horseback wearing Indian bridegroom’s clothes! Yikes!!!

My other friend AL suddenly decided to be gracious: “OK then why don’t you join us? Pull a chair over!”
My eyes nearly fell from their sockets. What was WRONG with her??!
His eyes lit up as if he had hit the jackpot! He obliged dutifully. As if he had been waiting for an opportunity, he neatly pulled over the nearest chair and dumped it right next to my seat.
As he settled into the chair, he gave me an exceptionally warm grin. Was it me or did he say: “Gotcha!”

AL chewed on a piece of French fry and asked him conversationally, “So what do you?”
What was she trying to be, my mother?? And enquire about the “boy’s” background perhaps? I was livid and mortified by then.

“My name’s John. I work with the fire-force,” he said matter-of-factly. No wonder I could hear the alarm bells ringing (pun intended)!
“Ash, you need to seriously consider him. He’s a brave fire-fighter!” AL recommended, trying hard to keep a straight face. I glared daggers at her. If looks could kill, she’d have been six feet under already!
“Well I WAS one. I lost my job recently. They promoted someone else rather than me, and there were some disagreements from my side. Finally I quit,” he said soberly.

“Oh…” PK tsk-tsked, “So do you have a family back home or…?”
“My wife died 5 years back. I have 3 children settled in different parts of the world. Well, three children that I know of!” he winked at me.
My friends screeched with laughter as if it were the funniest thing they ever heard. I gave everyone looks that could kill… but in vain. Nobody was paying scant attention to me by then.
He had become a star within 5 minutes!

Great, so I get a proposal from an unemployed, jobless widower who picks up women from pubs and doesn’t even know how many children he has. Wow, am I thrilled!
“Ha-ha…!” I tried to laugh miserably, then trailed off realising I was way past the point of joining in.
I wondered why I looked so special that night to attract him. Was it the white sweater? I swore to myself to burn the damn thing once I got back home!!

“So what would you do in the meantime?” AL’s boyfriend AV who had been silently chuckling till then, decided to join in the conversation.
John suddenly turned shy.
“Well I do sing a bit y’know… was planning to take it up more seriously,” he said modestly.
“Wow! Please please do sing for us!” AL fawned over him.
I smirked. This ought to be good. He’ll embarrass himself and we can throw him out, I decided.
“Yes yes please do,” PK added.

John looked delighted to be given a chance. He cleared his throat.
I decided to look the other way to give the poor guy some leverage.
He opened his mouth and closed his eyes. I tried to hide another smirk.
And then from his mouth came a combination of Mozart and Beethoven in a voice that can be described as nothing less than exquisite and sensational.
My friends and I stared at one another in shock, wide-eyed. Silence befell the restaurant and everyone turned around to look at him. He was unmindful of the effect he had on his environment and went on singing passionately. I felt myself melting…
Oh. My. Goodness. Where was he hiding this voice all along?
The soothing yet powerful voice seemed to float all over the restaurant and we were staring at him mesmerised. His voice hit the key notes just right, flowed higher with the music and then plunged down to a slow rhythm until he finally came down to the last part. He finished with a flourish and trailed off softly…

There was silence for a minute. Then all of a sudden, there was applause. People all over the restaurant had begun to clap and we ourselves started to. I forgot everything that happened before that and started clapping enthusiastically.
John looked startled as he opened his eyes. I think he forgot he had been in a restaurant all along. Wow! Talk about talent! And this was way before Susan Boyle happened LOL!

He turned a shade of red…looked around and mouthed thank-you to everyone. Then he looked at me. I grinned at him and said, all the while clapping, “Bravo! That was awesome!”
“So … will you marry me?” he asked hopefully.
My smile faded and I stopped clapping. Yeesh!

PK was giggling by now. “Looks like he’s hell-bent on his mission, Ash,” she whispered conspirationally to me. But by then I had started to relax though. The ice had been broken. The funny side of the situation had started to hit me.

He pulled his chair closer to mine.
“I can sing for you,” he blinked at me trying to look earnest.
Without waiting for an answer, he started off on another song, but this time in a soft voice so that only I could hear. PK and AL were shooting each other wireless messages through their eyes while AV looked amused.
OK this guy was a charmer alright. I’ll give you that. A slow smile spread across my face. Here goes 15 minutes of fun then!

John broke off mid-song and declared, “There’s a dance happening next week and I want to take you for that.”
AL and PK were by then rooting for him. “Ash, you should go with him!” AL said enthusiastically. I glared at her.

Just at that precise moment, two of our other friends who were supposed to join us, finally turned up... GG and his girlfriend MP.
John was starting off into the remaining part of his song when his glance fell on the two new friends who joined us at the table. His gaze went from GG to MP… and then lingered there, refusing to budge.
My gaze darted between John and MP for about 5 times in a row before I cleared my throat knowingly and stared at John: “A-hem!”

That was when he leaned across towards me, his eyes still on MP and whispered to me, “I want to marry her!”
HUH????
My balloon deflated with a ‘pop’. I stared at him as if I hadn’t heard right. He HAD to go and spoil everything! Just when I was starting to enjoy his company! Men and their roving eye! Sigh… just not worth it!
There was silence for a minute before my sarcastic reply came out: “Too bad. She’s already committed!”

John looked disappointed. But he quickly recovered. “But I still want to marry you!” he said to me.
Oh my goodness! He sure was changeable!

But by then I had discovered my loophole and pounced on it like my lifeline.
“How dare you!” I said in mock outrage, trying hard not to laugh, “Five minutes with me and you are already thinking of marrying someone else! I’m…er…devastated!”
John stuttered like a kid caught with his hand in the candy jar, not sure what to reply: “Uh… but she’s committed! I can’t marry her anymore!”
Jesus! This guy was DENSE, alright!
Me: “Which means you’d have gone after her if she wasn’t, right?”
John: “But she IS, which means I can’t... right?!”
By now a giggle escaped my throat. This was too much.

PK was clutching her stomach and laughing at the silliness of it. AL and AV were shooting amused grins at this conversation exchanged. GG and MP were looking at all of us bewildered… I daresay they must have thought I was really getting hitched to him! *Shudder*

John tried in vain for nearly another 15 minutes to persuade me to see his viewpoint but I remained stubborn. Finally he admitted defeat and withdrew.
Then he said his goobyes to us. But his parting present was part of what made his encounter with us most memorable. Two minutes after he left, the waiter came over with another round of drinks.
AV (looking confused): “But we didn’t order them!”
Waiter: “I know. The old guy there paid for it. He asked us to give you guys another round of whatever you were having!”

We whirled around and stared at John who was standing nearby grinning at us “Adios, folks! Thanks for the lovely evening!” he bowed with a flourish.
We began to protest and refuse, but he overruled the arguments in a flash, “No, no. You HAVE to accept. Thanks for giving me company all this while. I had a wonderful time!”
With that, he walked off. We stared at his receding figure and looked at each other bemused. Talk about unforgettable experiences! A memorable evening out alright!

I later narrated it to my parents over Skype. I do admit they were amused. But… did I imagine it or did I see flashes of panic run through their eyes as they glanced at each other? I can bet my life that they were thinking: if this is what our daughter gets as the first proposal, then what about the rest???

Sigh… there goes my market value in the matrimonial market :-/

The things you have to endure these days!

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