Note: With due apologies to Solilo, Peanut, Dhiren, and Ajit for using your names in my blog... it is only to continue this story forward...no offence meant. No apologies to vimmuuu though, coz it’s because of him I’m doing the tag anyway. My turn for revenge. Buahahaha!
I've put up this post as a continuation where vimmmu’s post ends...
I come running into the experimental lab.
Me (puffing and panting): “I came over as soon as I got the SOS message. What the hell is going on? Where are you vimmuuu?”
Vimal(a) from inside the machine: “Hereeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”
Solilo: “Don’t go there! Trust me, it isn’t a good sight!”
Me: “OK so let me get this straight… Smitha, AV and oorjas already did the tag. Now I have to also do it and list the names of women I’d find attractive if I were a guy, right? And then?”
Solilo: “Correct. And the test results will be fed into the machine. The trial software will start working again and Vimala will turn back to Vimal.”
Me (with an evil grin): “What if we don’t do the tag?”
Solilo and Vimala (together): “Noooooooooooooo!”
Me (taken aback): “What???”
Vimala: “Will you two stop debating and get around to the list already?!! You better get that tag done or else…!”
Me (smirking): “Or else what? I have half a mind to leave you that way, considering the tone with which you are ordering me around!”
Solilo (in horror): “Have you gone mad???? Do you know what a hideous creature this Vimala looks like?? She is an insult to our gender. The sooner we change her back, the better!”
Me (considering): “Oh!! In that case…hmm…”
Me: “OK so don’t I need to step inside the machine myself? How can I when it’s occupied by him…no, her?”
Solilo: “That’s ok…your imagination should do the trick. Besides, that machine won’t work without your test results anyway.”
Me: “But minimum 2 people have done it already, so why should I?”
Solilo (consulting the manual): “It says here the more the number of people, the better the results are. So no harm in going for it.”
Hmm…Alright! Fair enough! Vimala didi shouldn’t remain so as an insult to our gender. So might as well go ahead!
Here’s my list of 5 women I’d have a crush on, if I were a guy… and the reasons as to why so. (It is at times like these that a tomboyish bend of mind really comes in handy!). The list is given age-wise in descending order.
1. Vidya Balan – Hindustan Times newspaper's 'Brunch' Sunday magazine made a quote on her: "Men don’t want to have just sex with her, they want to fall in love with her." I agree...
2. Asin – The perfect indian figure begins with her... the right curves, the lovely features, the bubbly attitude, the chirpy conversation.... Aaand, she has the X factor in her to make it big. And she's smart too, considering she’s making a lot of progress in her career with careful well-planned steps. And as thinking through the mind of a man, let me disclose a secret.
3. Ayesha Takia - Few women carry off the beauty plus sex appeal together the way she does. As an actress she is under-rated (go watch Dor and you’ll understand). And for a change, she has no airs – this during a time when a cameo appearance in a two-bit film make people feel like they arrived in Hollywood. But…too bad she's already taken!
4. Sonam Kapoor - for her charm and her very earthy, Indian feel - 'Masakkali' song rocked with just her presence in it. She comes as a refreshing breath of fresh air in the world of made-up dolls and hi-fi glams. She is NOT politically correct … it pisses us men off after a point really! Speak up your mind, woman! Of course, the good pedigree - being Anil Kapoor's daughter - doesn't hurt either.
5. Shruti Hassan - OK this one's a no-brainer. Do I even need to start on this? Absolute stunner and all-rounder! Be it her music, good looks, intelligent replies in interivews, edutional background, immense talent… not to mention being born to two of the top artistes in the country I could go on and on and on! New kid on the block... long way to go. If I were a guy, I'd definitely keep an eye on her (and try getting her number as she reaches the top! :P )
Solilo (examining the list): “Hey this list is full of Indian women! And all of them movie stars! Where’s the pan-worldly appeal?”
Me (shrugging): “So I am feeling a little patriotic now! Go figure! Besides, you just needed the names of 5 women right? These were the ones I could think of quickly.”
Solilo: “Alright. Feeding the test results into the machine now!”
Outside, OG and Dhiren wait their turn patiently. Once the results are fed into the machine, it whirrs to life and lights start blinking.
Solilo: “Into the hands of Fate!”
She presses a bright red button at the top. Smoke starts pouring from the machine from all corners.
As the process works, I call Peanut aside.
Me: “Hey sweetheart, would you like to earn 10 bucks?”
Peanut (suspiciously): “How?”
Me (evil grin): “Simple. All you have to do is run from there to here with that tennis ball and trip again!”
Peanut (eyes widening): “And then? Goodness knows where that ball will go and hit!”
Me (even bigger evil grin): “That’s the idea!! hehehe”
But by then it’s too late and the doors of the machine start to open.
vimmuuu steps out on shaky legs, rubbing his eyes and looking himself up and down in the mirror to make sure it’s himself.
In the background, OG, and Dhiren let out whoops of joy.
The process of normalcy has begun…
well, as much as you can call these guys normal anyway!! :P :P
P.S.: The original list I made had Nigella Lawson, Madhuri Dixit and Sushmita Sen as well. But I changed them since the others who did it before me included them and I wanted an entirely new list altogether. Also under consideraton were the names of Riddhima Kapoor and Lara Dutta, but eventually only these 5 made it to the list.
P.P.S: All the pics given here are taken off the net from Google... I take no credit or responsibility for the same.
1 year ago