Thursday, August 19, 2010

Matrimonial mish-mashes - Part IV

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Howdy, folks! :-) I am in Kerala for a well-earned 2 week vacation. Last time's trip guaranteed a long post with pics too...this time I am going to be more modest for lack of time.

Not boring you by dragging MM series too much...but just thought I'd jot down a few pointers in the matrimonial (search) journey till now...some lessons learnt along the way...
For the uninitiated - Part I, Part II and Part III are here....



Most Psychotic Suitor (so far): My folks had sent through a couple of pics of me wearing casuals. The guy demanded (through his folks) to see a photo of me wearing a bindi instead. I was like ??? but still complied, thinking he meant a picture of me wearing traditional dress (since bindi is something people wear along with that). A week later, he responded saying he wants a picture of me wearing the kum-kum/sindoor bindi in particular. Whaaaa....?
Folks I'm glad to tell you that proposal was dropped with immediate effect. Seriously, what criteria do people measure their partners with?!!!



Most Amusing Comment (completely well-intentioned): When I told my uncle and aunt of my exact age (on being asked), my aunt said: "Oh but you dont look that old at all. You look 18-19 at the most. Noone would guess or say looking at you that you are getting late for marriage"!!!
And then she looked expectantly at me...waiting for a thankyou!! I didnt know whether to laugh or cry!! LOL



Most Memorable Meeting: Not that I've seen some hundreds of people so far, but this remains memorable coz it was the first meeting I ever had with a prospective "suitor", plus I ended up making a friend out of the whole sordid process. It was touted to be THE wedding...since the horoscopes matched perfectly, the guys' folks and my folks hit it off without the guy or me even contacting each other once. To top it all, some astrologer predicted engagement within 4 months!! Yup...no pressure at all.
Guy: "Will you please let me know who that astrologer is? I'd like to give him a piece of my mind."
Me: "Dont worry, we can together arrange for his assassination!" :D
The entire thing got called off after we met once though...the pressure to say 'yes' was hanging like a Damocles sword on our heads and the rest of the world seemed to have decided - all except me and him. What about the whole idea of getting to know the person as a friend first? We mutually and amicably parted ways...and to this day I remain grateful - particularly so, to have a strong case to cite as an example where I can stand up to my parents and tell them to chuck the astrological mumbo-jumbo out of the window - beacuse that need not be the deciding factor.



Scariest moment : Seeing the proposal of a 36 year old divorcee...who has polio and cannot walk...but can horseride, swim and goodness knows what else...and is "otherwise" physically fit (HIS words, not mine)!! I rejected his proposal through matrimonial website and he again showed interest in me - THRICE! Eeeyikes! Sheesh - how the hell do I consistently end up attracting all the wrong guys???


Most disappointing moment (more like a dose of reality): The same proposal where the guy's parents had been all enthusiastic about the proposal dropped it like a hot-cake when they came to know of my parents' separation - without ever meeting me even once :- I guess it takes all kinds to make up this world...


Most ridiculous pick-up line: "I am interested....in you.... to marri " accompanied by the picture of a guy easily mistaken for Tamil actor Vadivelu. No more comments.
A close second would be all the guys who write paragraphs explaining their achievements...and in the end quietly claim they are 'modest'. Amen!






Bottomline?
I was sitting at this restaurant for dinner with my folks. And noticed the table next to us...with a family waiting for their food. I observed them in silence for a few minutes. The dad was engrossed in typing out a long sms, the mom had placed her head on the table as if nursing a headache, and the kid was sitting alone playing with a toy car - each lost in their own world.

Made a mental note to myself and a prayer - let this not be my family scene ten years from now...not even on the worst hair days.....


Sigh....aaaand....yes, the journey continues! :-)
Keep watching this space for more!

39 comments:

kanagu said...

FIRST!!!

kanagu said...

/*Not boring you by dragging MM series too much*/

Aha.. there is some hint :D :D

Psycotic suitor: Before looking for bride, he needs a good doctor to look in.. :D :D

Uncle may lie sometimes.. I tell ya.. ;)

/*Guy: "Will you please let me know who that astrologer is? I'd like to give him a piece of my mind."*/

there are some sane people still left :) actually today got a gyan from a book.. we invented numbers and alphabets.. how they can decide our future..??? they do.. lol!!!!

/*I rejected his proposal through matrimonial website and he again showed interest in me - THRICE! Eeeyikes! Sheesh - how the hell do I consistently end up attracting all the wrong guys???*/

ROFL!!!!

/*Most disappointing moment (more like a dose of reality):*/

:( :( people love to talk about change blah blah blah.. when it comes to their turn.. they will simply show their back :(

/*all the guys who write paragraphs explaining their achievements...and in the end quietly claim they are 'modest'*/

that says whatever they have posted is just a drop.. an ocean is waiting for u to hear when u say OK...lol!!!

/*The dad was engrossed in typing out a long sms, the mom had placed her head on the table as if nursing a headache, and the kid was sitting alone playing with a toy car - each lost in their own world. */

:(((((((((((((((((( me too must stop browsing mobile while in converstion... its like an eye opener..

/*let this not be my family scene ten years from now...not even on the worst hair days.....*/

wishing your prayers must be answered...

/*Keep watching this space for more! */

Why won't we??????? :D :D

Pankaj Upadhyay (पंकज उपाध्याय) said...

LOL

Blue said...

brings back all the memories of past 3-4 years. can't imagine i managed to bear it for such a long period of time. guess sense of humour and friends with loads of patience help a lot :) enjoy the ride while you are at it

Swaram said...

Wow Kanagu ;) U read the hint well :P :P
Kya Ash, kya baat hai ;) ;)

So true abt ppl talking abt change, but nt being able to bring abt the same :(

Wishing u a very happy family life now and forever Cheers!

Ashwathy said...

@kanagu
yes u are first!!! :-)

hahah...truly sorry to disappoint you, but I had not intended any hint!!! :D :D It just meant I dont want to bore you with too many details of what happens, hence shortened the post!

Uncle may lie sometimes...? Didnt get you?!

Sane people??? Hahaha :D will pass on the compliment to him..He reads my blog..will definitely be seeing this.
P.S.: You dont know him kanagu... "sane" is the last word I would associate with him ;-) hehe


yes its soooo true. we are a hypocritical society. we are all for change but the moment it comes our turn we turn and run! :-/

hahah...i'm sure u will keep watching this space :D pls do!

Ashwathy said...

@Pankaj
welcome! :-) and glad u enjoyed!

@Blue
so u have a fair idea of what I'm undergoing! :-)
Hmm but I'm curious to know what the end of ur long search story was!!


@Swaram
thanks sweetheart :-) :-)
LOL, btw, that was a misinterpretted hint!!

dialoguewithyou said...

Read all the parts of the series in one go. On occasions like these true tests of one's patience and values comes to force. I am glad you've taken all these kinds of people with a dose of humor, it makes unpleasant moments so very bearable.

Best wishes for everything dear :)

Keep writing :D :D

Cheers!!

Ashwathy said...

@Chatterbox
thats one of the nicest things anyone's ever said to me!! :-) thanks sweetheart!

vimmuuu said...

he wanted a bindi (ladys finger) or a bindhi ??? :D :D :D :D If its the former, you shouldve sent him a pic with the 'appropriate' finger !!! :D :D :D :D

well, that is an amusing comment indeed !! :D :D :D :D

18-19 it seems !! !HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHA !!!!

kanagu said...

/*You look 18-19 at the most.*/

Uncle may lie sometimes.. I tell ya.. ;)

kanagu said...

did you got it now?? :D :D

scorpiogenius said...

Hilarious! Especially the first guy (the Psycho one) who wanted to see you in bindi, traditional etc etc etc...heheheeee, I don't think he is going to find a girl anytime soon.

This series is turning out to be a phenomenal one, someone doing a case study of Indian system of marriage can well go through all these to get a realistic picture in a humorous way. Well, I wish you good luck... :)

doctoratlarge said...

Why stop at part 4? Why not part 5 and 6 and 7 and ----. No, no, I don't mean it that way, its just that your mms (matrimonial mishmashes I mean, nothing else) provide great humor.

By the way I'll tell you of an astrologer who has the greatest success rate for prediction that I've ever known - a coin toss.

sakshi said...

Sigh and sometimes I tell my husband how he made me miss going through all this "pennu kannal" because of the way he trapped poor innocent me...sobs!!

Me thinks the guy who asked for a bindhi photo was slyly testing you. He wanted to be sure before marriage itself, that you would transform from a desi kudi to an Apsara to an Umreekan to a MTV dancer to #%$#% (censored) etc etc as and when he is in the mood for. Good riddance I tell ya.

Let me go and read the previous ones. Ho

UmaS said...

LOL Ash...I thot so much that we'll get an update on this series, when u told me of ur trip to Kerala. :) But this is getting more interesting for us, with your super narrative. :)

Whaaat ??? A pic with bindi ??? So much demanding even before the wedding ???? He is insane !!!

Have fun...keep us updated. :)

Ashwathy said...

@vimmuuu
for that brilliant first half of ur comment...i forgive ur annoying second half laughter! :P LOL

@kanagu
not you too kanagu!! hahah..i know my aunt was trying to be helpful!! :D


@scorpiogenius
haha yes thats what we were also thinking... WTF is he thinking anyway!
LOL doesnt look like it is going to end immediately! lots more fodder coming up! :D :D

Ashwathy said...

@doctoratlarge
good to know u are enjoying :-) the next part is coming up soon, dont worry!!
LOL @ coin toss!!


@saks
Good riddance is right!! :D phew!
Haha enjoyed reading the entire series??


@Uma
oh yes the updates are coming...the Kerala-related update will be up shortly! :D
haha yes i agree...that guy surely is insane..!

evanescentthoughts said...

LOL.. tell me about it.. I am sailing in a similar boat here.. :) this world is full of crackpots :)) Regarding that 36 yr old divorcee.. I once got a request from a 54 yr old man :P weirdos exist, can't help it.. good luck with the groom hunt :)

Emm said...

This has been a real eye-opener for me reading about these posts! Many of my friends only got married in their 30s, if at all, and we all got to choose our own partners that we met at university or through friends or randomly, going out. Our idea is that we don't want to marry too young and certainly aren't committing to someone we don't love. Very interesting differences.

But I do love your stories - they are so funny!

Ashwathy said...

@evanescentthoughts
haha...a fellow traveller!! welcome, welcome!! :D u can surely identify with all this!!


@Emm
EXACTLY!!! somebody who sees it with my perspective. just becoz i undergo this doesnt mean my heart is in it. i certainly hope i find the right person myself... this is pretty annoying!

Deeps said...

LOL..you said it..it takes all kinds to make this world :D :D

As for that psychotic suitor, you should've demanded to see him in a lungi with shoes actually..I'm sure it would've made a delectable sight ;) :D

So there's more to come..waiting waiting!

Neha said...

haha.. But I do agree to the 'most disappointing suitor' case. My younger sister is in your position, and we get a LOT of cases when they seem all happy talking to my sis and knowing about our family, but the moment they hear about my parents' separation they vanish into thin air!! It was disappointing at first, but now its kind of funny... better off without such people, eh?! Made me realise I am lucky not to go through this Dulha hunting process :D.

Blue said...

quite a fan following u have :) well, aren't all stories supposed 2 have a happy ending? mine has it too, thank god!

Ashwathy said...

@Deeps
oh trust me, u have no idea what all kind of photos I thought of suggesting to come from his end!!! :D :D
Then in the end, decided it wasnt worth it, and dropped it.
Yep definitely more to come!


@Neha
Ah! So somebody who knows what it feels like!
Ur younger sister has my empathy.
And yes definitely better off without such people...creeps!
Might as well for someone broadminded in that sense...doesnt make sense in any way to get hitched in a hurry and regret later!
And I am presuming you found your Prince Charming without having to go through any of this nonsense!


@Blue
I believe in happy endings, yes :-)
Glad it happened to you!

Crafty Shines said...

@ Psychotic suitor: So u didn't send him a snap with kumkum??!!! WHY sis why??? Next time, just do... i wud have drawn like a rangoli on my forhead and sent the snap.... with a caption "Design will change weekly"
And why not ask this suitor to send his snap in superman costume? tell him, u want a hero for a husband, and need to see if he fits the bill!! BLEAH!!!


@ amusing comment: Santoor Santoor....... :D :D :D

@ memorable meeting: Great that you guys could withstand the pressure... i have friends who married just coz horroscopes matched...and they cudn't fight back!

@ Scariest proposal: LOL!!! tell him about some thing about a couple of toes missing (yet how shoes look pretty on ur feet), i dunno why i feel u will never hear from him again! :P

@ disappointing moment: Why tolerate ppl who have intolerance for facing the truth? good riddance, i say!

@ ridiculous pickup line: ROFL!!!
pliss, do reply to him...pliss! how's "i interested...in you... go away..." ??

geeeee.... nopes, that won't be ur family ever! :D hugs!!!!! hope u enjoyed ur trip!

and best of luck on the journey! :)
my case would have been worse... as soon as i say two words in my accented malayalam.....am sure the family and boy would have walked out! :P

Ashwathy said...

@Crafty
ROFL!!!!!!!!!! Cunny sistahhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D :D :D

I LOVED that response to the ridiculous pickup line!! thats what i'll do next time round!!! :D :D also for the superman costume!!! hahahah!!

Missed ur comments so much!!! :D

And as for the boy and his family walking out (if at all) on hearing ur accented malayalam....now its my turn to say: GOOD RIDDANCE!! :D Hmph! LOL

AS said...

hii

liked ur blog!
interesting post :)

N said...

Some really awesome and witty writing there. Have been going through your 'marriage proposal escapades' for a while now and enjoying the reading...(err...not sure f that seems to be a compliment to you)..oh well..it is..i enjoy the reading :-)

N

verbivorehere said...

LOL..bindi and sindoor!! shudve bn a looney ;) which kind of matches ur requirement ;P :P based n ur demands so far n all series..
:P :P...jokes apart..wud like to remind u of ur cousins advice..n one of the old series.. so no cnfusions like "cry or laugh" @ neone's suggestion...just ROFL :)

Ashwathy said...

@AS
thank you! :-) welcome to my blog!


@N
glad u r following and enjoying it :-)
welcome to my blog!


@verbivorehere
welcome! :-) good to see u here!
yep...all part of the game! ;-)

Destination Infinity said...

Sometimes all this makes us feel like how much better it was in the older days - they just needed to look at each other and give an instant judgment based on that! Simple and easy, that - ain't it?? :)

Destination Infinity

Rakesh said...

Ek chutki sindoor ki keemat tum kya jano...psycho!! haha..Thnk god he didnt ask u to make a video of u repeating the above lines.. :D


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQOl0Xguvgc

Ashwathy said...

@DI
Yea....life gets more complicated as the days go by. I m sure one generation later I m going to go nuts searching for partners for my kids...I'll definitely tell 'em to find themselves!! :P


@Rakesh
ROFL! :D the day wont be far off when somebody asks that!!!

Jon said...

Hey the 'most psychotic suitor' sounded like some modelling agency, where ur folks sent the photos...:D

I wonder how would it have been if u went ahead to see the fittest guy...
Over all a ver humorous one!!:D

Ashwathy said...

@Jon
been awhile...where were you? :-)
fittest guy??? meaning?

Nik said...

Hey ... This series made for an interesting read !!

... and can empathize a bit ... as I had a few "experiences".

currently i am waiting for an opportunity to give my "piece of mind" to an astrologer :)!!!!

Ashwathy said...

@Nik
LOL! Do write about your 'experiences'...shud make for fun reading totally!
Btw welcome to my blog :-)

Ashwathy said...

@Nik
LOL! Do write about your 'experiences'...shud make for fun reading totally!
Btw welcome to my blog :-)